Hello, here I am again

Hi! It’s been so long since the last time I wrote here.

Since blogspot removed their mobile application in AppStore (idk in 2017 or 2018), I stopped writing because I feel more comfortable to write using my phone rather than laptop, so I could write anywhere and anytime. So here I am coming back here cuz I just figures out that the mobile app is back.

I think writing journals has helped me to express about what I thoughts or felt using words. As a person with engineering background, I work with numbers most of the time rather than words, that's probably why I don't get used to write and find it hard even just to choose the right word to express my thoughts.

So here it is, my personal thoughts as a part time engineer living her life in a corporate world, and a full time life-learner figuring out things.

Happy reading, I hope you could learn something from here. Thanks for stopping by!:)

what's up (part 21932481)

The last few weeks have been really, really hard; at least for me. Those final-year things, deadlines, pressuring-surroundings, and ambitious people everywhere. Yet there are still so many other things to be grateful about. For finally finishing my internship-defense, getting an opportunity in WULF, and having so many good friends around.

Turns out life is getting better despite all the hard times!

When Reality,
slaps you right in the face.
Knowing that you won't even have the chance,
even from the very beginning.
It hurts,
for real.

The moment i thought that things are okay,
was also the moment i realized,
that things are not okay at all.

that i just deny my thoughts,
denying the fact that i even knew everything since the very beginning.

how,

to control feeling,
and thoughts?

what?

that's how life goes.
things could change anytime.
bisa jadi satu hari kita baik-baik saja, lalu menjadi orang yang berbeda di kemudian hari.
bisa jadi hari ini kita merencanakan masa depan, lalu hari berikutnya kita sadar bahwa masa depan kita bukan untuk dirangkai bersama.

the only thing that is constant in life, is life that constantly change everytime.
and yeah, basically life is about accepting things the way they are.
be strong, dear self; for life is getting tougher and tougher everday.

A random thought.

I used to think 'how could two people who used to be together, end something that they began themselves? how could two people used to love each other suddenly became two strangers after a break up? why do people end a relationship? don't they remember that feeling they used to have when they began this?'

But as time goes by, i can find the answer by myself. Because they just can't. They just don't meant to be together right now. But they may be back together in another phase of life later, or not together forever. One thing i learned, that they two may become strangers to each other, but they won't ever forget how they used to feel. They may forget things they did, but not the way they used to feel to each other.

It bothers me how this happened to almost everyone. How people can't just let go of the feeling they used to have. But yeah, that's how life goes by. We just need to accept how the universe works and set things up for us.

But well, it happened to almost everyone. Almost.